What If...? A Question or Two About Natural Wine

Is it possible that natural wine is a cause of wine's decline among younger drinkers?

Just a question or two about “Natural Wine”:

• What if consistent deliciousness is what wine consumers really want?

• What if there is a connection between the rise of “Natural Wine” and the diminished interest in wine by younger drinkers?

• What if the fun and novelty of Natural Wine aren’t enough to overcome the impact that aromas of nail polish remover have on drinkers?

• What if young drinkers who crave deliciousness in their wines discover that the artisan producers of “conventional” wine really aren’t the villains they are made out to be by the natural wine community?

• What if younger drinkers really don’t want to be confronted with politics and existential matters and just want a tasty, rich, quaffable red wine?

• What if being a member of the oh-so-hip natural wine club is just too limiting for the average wine drinker?

• What if well-rounded young wine drinkers are tired of being shamed for really enjoying the occasional hedonistic fruit bomb that they realize might just have a place now and then?

• What if the benefits of a quaffable, funky-tasting, 30-something-Somm-approved light red wine that needs to be chilled doesn’t deliver the joy they say it will and certainly isn’t worth the $40 it costs?

• What if young drinkers who are exploring their options decide that too often confronting l’odeur de barnyard in a wine that the coolest people say they should like is enough to drive them to brown spirits?

WHAT IF THE EMPEROR NOT ONLY DOESN’T HAVE ANY CLOTHES BUT IS JUST REPUGNANT ENOUGH ON OCCASION THAT HIS SUPPORTERS DECIDE THERE IS A MORE PALATABLE RULER ELSEWHERE?

Yes. I know. It’s a lot of “what ifs”. But maybe it is time to consider whether what the Naturalistas have been saying about conventional wine all these years (“its sameness is boring, industrial, and driving away younger consumers) is exactly the problem with Natural Wine.

I’m not a champion of Natural Wine. I’ve had a number of them, for sure. Some have been terrific and interesting and worthy of return. But no one who has also dabbled in the category will disagree with me that it is far more common to come across natural wines with nail polish as its primary characteristic than it is to come across this odious characteristic in “conventional” wines. And anyone who thinks this is a feature worth accommodating instead of a problem worth shunning is either selling natural wine or so far down the ideological Rabbit Hole that they now reside in something that can only be labeled a cozy “subculture”.

Maybe, just maybe, we have mistakenly taken younger drinkers’ willingness to try new things as a rejection of the conventional. But in fact, what we are seeing is no more than a dabbling in a greater diversity of products, and in the end, younger Millennials and Gen Z are just like their parents and grandparents when it comes to digestible aesthetics: They want yumminess, deliciousness and, God forbid, a little bit hedonistic bombast in their wine.

There is a real risk for the wine industry when a consumer just coming to wine is given something that tastes and smells like the inside of an Ulta Beauty or Sephora store at the local outlet mall. Now it may be that upon being tempted into the hip natural wine bar with their more knowledgable friend, the young hard seltzer drinker is presented with a really yummy and thirst-quenching natural white blend from some place called “The Jura” and decides, “Hey, this natural stuff is easy on the palate…gimme more.” It happens all the time, I’m sure.

But we all know that eventually—and probably not too far in the future of their natural journey—nearly every converted youngster is going to have a foul and funky wine from Beaujolais shoved in front of them and told by the slinger behind the glass, how “this is the real deal and you’re gonna freak!”.

Is that when our young, nearly-converted-to-wine drinker starts to think maybe wine isn’t for me? Maybe that sweet, easy-to-drink, quaffable, thirst-quenching hard seltzer is more reliable…Plus, it isn’t going to set me back $40 for the pleasure of rinsing my sink with it when no one is looking. Maybe I’ll just stick to what is good every time.

I get that conventional wine has the impression of being an old-fashioned beverage that might look a little like the drink of choice for the dying boomers who seem like they could be covert supporters of Donald Trump. I get that wine doesn’t have the same status as the cocktail assembled by the bearded, vest-wearing, crimson-haired darling just featured by an influencer as the next big thing in the realm of inebriation technology. Wine is old. And wine is liked a lot by old people. And that’s not cool.

But here’s what I also get: Well-made conventional wine is almost always delicious. It’s always consistent. When made by the vast majority of producers that are actually small, family-owned affairs, the conventional wine is almost always the product of conscientious people who revere the land from which the wine’s grapes were derived. The conventionally made wine will rarely if ever deliver up funky nail polish characteristics. And, the conventional wines of today are so diverse and offer experiences of every sort that one could drink conventionally made wines every day of the year and always experience something different.

I’m not saying with certainty that the vagaries of Natural Wines and the tiring stridency of the Natural Wine community are some of the important reasons younger drinkers are choosing something different from wine. I’m saying it’s time to ask if this might be the case.