Wine Can Help Solve the Loneliness Epidemic

Being a part of the solution and part of Come Over October

I’ve written in the past about the Loneliness Epidemic. I’ve written about this difficult-to-observe phenomenon because I believe that the worst crises a society experiences are often invisible. It is easy to see homelessness, increases in physical injury, congestion on the roads, and more types of conditions that are visible to the eye. Loneliness is very difficult to see.

This particular crisis is a matter of the degradation of social interaction over the past two decades. It manifests first as a feeling of isolation in individuals. Younger people and men are today more likely to experience loneliness.

The increases in loneliness and isolation among not just the two groups listed above, but across all demographics has been exacerbated by the COVID pandemic. But social media, though it connects us, has also been identified as a source of physical isolation and with it loneliness.\

Loneliness and isolation do not merely impact our mental health. They are significantly connected to our physical health:

”The U.S. Surgeon General's advisory report found that loneliness increases the risk of premature death by 26% and isolation by 29%. Murthy said in terms of your lifespan, continuing to live in loneliness is equivalent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.”

The U.S. Surgeon General and others have offered numerous ways to address this crisis. But over and over again they offer the same suggestion: Create more opportunities for physical interaction among people. Simply, being with others curbs the loneliness epidemic.

This brings me to COME OVER OCTOBER.

Come Over October is a wine industry-initiated effort to encourage friends, family, and colleagues to “come over” during the month of October. It focuses on sharing wine, celebrating friendship, and in-person connection. Initially conceived by wine writer Karen MacNeil in response to the increasingly shrill and condescending tone of the “Sober October” movement, Come Over October means to stress the historic way wine has been used as a symbol of community and togetherness.

Come Over October, besides being and doing all these things, also is a way to address the loneliness epidemic. I can’t think of a better community of people to bring people together and lay a salve upon social isolation than the wine community. Our experience in promoting hospitality and creating connections based on the sharing of fine wine is unrivaled.

Wine itself is perfectly suited for this job. Consider the wine bottle. At 750 ml, it is designed for sharing. This can’t be said for the 12oz beer bottle or can. This can’t be said for the fifth of vodka or gin, let alone the cocktail. Wine alone is bottled and presented as a means for gathering and sharing.

Because it is centered around wine, Come Over October suggests any number of different wine and culinary themes around which gatherings can be organized. For me, however, the most important thing we can do is identify those folks we don’t see come out often, who may be isolated, and bring them in the gathering. It may be an older neighbor you don’t see often or a single father you know from your children’s school or a young person who seems not to have much of a social connection. These friends or acquaintances are likely in need of a gathering where wine and food can be at the center, but more importantly, that provides a reason for people to connect.

So, if you are inclined to host a gathering at your home in celebration of Come Over October or just do your part to give the more isolated among us a reason to connect and find solace, consider these random tips:

1. Large parties are intimidating for many people
2. Single parents need to feel comfortable bringing their children.
3. Halloween & greeting trick-or-treaters is a perfect reason to gather
4. Don’t impose on your guests the need to know wine
5. An in-person invitation is a nice way to share invites
6. Bring a bottle of wine to give to the person you are personally inviting over
7. It’s easier to share one-on-one time with someone if it is not a large gathering
8. Drop-in gatherings allow guests to come and go to your gathering more easily
9. Consider a buffet with different wines associated with different foods
10. When telling the story of a wine to a guest, make it personal, not technical

I’m personally lucky. I am not now and never have felt sustained bouts of loneliness or isolation. Though I can count my very closest friends on one hand, these are friends that will hang with me, visit me, and pick up the phone and call me or take my call. Moreover, I married into a family that stays in touch and embraces me. I’m not suffering any mental or physical symptoms that can come from loneliness. Others are not so lucky.

If members of the wine industry combine their mission to sell wine with a mission to promote community and personal relationships as the Come Over October effort does, this industry will grow. It will grow a reputation for being an environment in people want to be a part of. And it can even address an important problem plaguing our society. I hope you will find a way to invite people to come over this October.