Cannabis and its Tools Are Coming After Wine

Wine people need to push back against the cannabis tools that would denigrate wine

Kim Rivers is a tool.

Here’s how I know that:

“When you compare marijuana to alcohol…the data is very, very clear that cannabis, by all metrics—whether you’re talking about DUIs, whether you’re talking about hospital visits, whether you’re talking about deaths, when you’re talking about long-term side effects—is significantly safer and should be an alternative that is offered to Floridians.”

The Tool is the CEO of Truelive, a multi-state cannabis supplier. She’s donated millions to the initiative to legalize recreational cannabis in Florida.

And that’s fine. But let’s be clear. Ms Rivers is a tool if she believes that alcohol and cannabis are simply two sides of the same inebriation coin. Take wine for example. Here is something that has been placed on tables alongside food for centuries for its ability to make everything taste better. It has been incorporated into religious and ceremonial moments for its long association with life. Wine is the beverage we raise in celebration of life’s transitions.

When was the last time you saw a room of people raise up their bongs or pipes to celebrate the union of two people? When was the last time you discussed how the skunky/petrol aroma of a sativa strain complimented the Dover Sole being served? When was the last time a cannabis-infused gummy bear motivated someone to travel around the world to find the source of the cannabis in that little bear?

Everyone should take note that the alcohol industry and the wine industry in particular never campaigned against the legalization of cannabis no matter what state the issue was raised in—even California where grape growing, winemaking and wine sales are the career lifeblood for so many. The industry didn’t say “boo” once.

Yet, here is this Tool bashing alcohol for the benefit of her own company. It reminds me of the champions of Natural Wine who tried to convince drinkers that if they didn’t drink natural wine they’d get a rash from all that “conventional” wine. I called in “Dengration Marketing.” This is the same thing.

You see, for the sake of her cannabis sales, Ms. Cannabis Tool is positioning alcohol as nothing more than a vehicle to get fucked up, just like cannabis is. Let’s be honest. Cannabis, unlike wine, has no other purpose than to cause inebriation; to get stone. And that’s fine. I. Understand. Perfectly.

But to pretend that wine is not different and that there is no other reason to drink wine than to get fucked up reveals a deep misunderstanding of the product, of history, and of culture.

Yes, folks drink alcohol to get buzzed. But at least where wine is concerned, there is a deep connection between the drink and our shared human history, our project as human beings to civilize and tame nature, and our understanding that the cycle of vintages is analogous to the cycle of life.

Cannabis is a gateway to Doritos.

This sort of stuff frustrates me, as you may be able to tell. I want to see wine and the wine industry thrive for many reasons but the social and economic headwinds it currently faces are strong and strengthening. When I see that right beside the rational choice of deciding not to drink or to drink less is the unethical tendency to mischaracterize and demean wine by a simple Tool, I become just a bit frustrated. I start using the more accurate term like “Tool’ to describe a person like Ms. Rivers when I should, out of courtesy, use the more diplomatic terms like “misinformed” or “unfortunate” or “idiot.”

Whether or not wine is going to eventually overcome the growing perception that it’s bad for you is up in the air. What is not up in the air is the necessity of every single person who understands the unique and historic and cultural character of wine to stand up and defend it in the face of the ethically challenged tools who say otherwise.